Not According to My Plan...

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” --Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Last weekend my mother and I attended the Extraordinary Women conference in Lynchburg, Virginia. The theme for this year’s conference is “Discovering God’s Dream.” I really heard God speaking to me throughout the conference. I went to last year’s conference and was spiritually refreshed, but this year was different. It was as if each speaker was speaking directly to me.

My life did not turn out according to my dreams for my future. My dreams included graduating from college and then graduate school with a degree in Speech Pathology. I dreamed of marrying a loving, caring husband and having three children. I wanted the house with a two-car garage and a white picket fence. Those of you who know me, know those dreams certainly did not come to fruition.

I did graduate from college, but definitely not on schedule and not with a Speech Pathology degree. I am currently enrolled in graduate school (and doing well, I might add); however, I am pursuing my Master’s degree in Professional Counseling with an emphasis on women’s ministry. I did get married, but he was often neither loving nor caring. I am now divorced. And I have no children, unless you count my cat. I currently live in an apartment with a 2000 Ford Focus (at least it is paid for) which sits in a multi-car parking lot, not its own garage.

At this point in my life, I look back and sometimes think that my life turned out nothing like I had planned. Instead I have to acknowledge that God allowed my experiences to bring me to this place. I will admit that I wish I could have gotten to this place without the abuse and pain I endured in my past marriage and without having been through a divorce. But it was those experiences which have shown me my purpose and God’s plan, or His dreams for my life. God has given me the vision for a ministry for hurting women—women who, like me, have escaped abusive relationships. All too often these women do not have supportive families to whom they can turn. All too often these women do not have the skills required to care for themselves and their children or even the necessary skills required to find employment to support themselves and their children. God has given me a vision for a ministry where these women can learn such skills while healing spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Had it not been for God allowing me to live through and learn from my experiences, I do not believe I would have had the desire for this kind of ministry.

My encouragement to whoever may be reading this is to not doubt God or wonder where He is when you are walking (or crawling) through the darkest period of your life. He is right there with you—leading you and cheering you on. He wants the best for you and wants you to experience the dreams He has for you. Sometimes He has to get your attention, but once He has it, remember, the sky is the limit!